A is for .... All About Me.

 April is the month of A-Z!

It's April, which is the month of the 'Blogging from A-Z Challenge', which means I need to get my brain into gear and think of something to write about each day. Last year unfortunately I didn't manage to complete it, but I hope I succeed this year! Now, to dust off of my imagination, my creativity, and those writing skills.. eeek!

A is for All About Me.

I thought I would start with a little introduction to me. Well, instead of the usual stuff, I thought I would write about some of the useless bits of info which you would probably never know unless you had lived with me my entire life... then you still wouldn't know some bits... anyway, here goes...


- My favouite chocolate bars (UK) are Crunchie and Double Decker. Boost is not far behind.
- I detest cilantro with a passion.
- I have always wanted to do a skydive, but I'm getting less brave as I get older.
- I hate hate hate to sleep with ticking clocks.
- I love inventing recipes. I just made a delicious dessert pretty much by invention.
- I hate the way the American pronunciation of route and algae. It's like the word is being tortured each time someone says it. Sorry.
- I also hate how Americans say write me, instead of write to me. You can't just take out a preposition and expect it to make sense. Sorry, once again.
 - As a child I wanted to be a Sea King helicopter pilot, which, incidentally, is Prince William's job in the Royal Air Force. If I had done that (very unlikely!) then maybe I would have been buddies with a prince!
- I am a recycling nut. It physically pains me when I see something which could be recycled, thrown away.
- I moisturise my hands a gazillion times a day and they are still dry and cracked.
- I am one of the most indecisive people I know.  I have a magnet with a picture of a bear with his hands over his eyes, with the quote "I used to be decisive, but now I'm not sure".
- I feel at least 10 years younger than I actually am.
- My favourite writing pens are the cheap bic pens which nobody else likes. And the blue is definitely better than the black. The purple is my all-time favourite.
- I love the take off and landing parts of flying. The speeds and the bumps make it fun times. Turbulants scare me, but are also kinda cool.

That's enough random information for now. Hope that was half interesting at least! :)


 

S is for Something Different

S is for Something Different.

A Book Review:
'Walking the Amazon: 860 Days, One Step at a Time'. By Ed Stafford.

My list of 'to read' books is pretty much never ending, so when it comes to picking out a new book to read, I have a long list from which I can choose, from a variety of genres. The last book I read was a gift, and I actually don't think I would have picked this book out myself, but I found it a great read from beginning to end.
Walking the Amazon is Stafford's story about his quest to walk from the source of the Amazon to its mouth, entirely by foot, recounting his trials and tribulations, and his more uplifting moments along the way.
Stafford isn't a literary scholar; he's an expedition leader, an adventurer, an army captain, an action man. His story is told in his words, with his style, and even though it may not be the work of a literary genius, his own words and his own style help me understand and connect with him more, and develop a better grasp of his own journey through the Amazon.
Stafford isn't an eco-warrior, a biologist, or a zoologist. His journey isn't solely about saving the rainforest, it is more about the journey to achieve a world first, while promoting an awareness of the issues which face the rainforest today. He doesn't spend paragraphs describing the flora and fauna of the rainforest, merely mentions just some of the many issues of the area. His book is about his story, his journey, and his recount of events during 860 days in the rainforest.
Ed shares his whole story. He describes the expedition preparation, financing, charity fundraising, finding expedition sponsors, the daily challenges he faced, all the way through to his flat-out exhaustion as he completed his mission. For me, this is what I enjoyed most about the book. He describes his sometimes harsh interaction with others, his own personal issues, his exhaustion, his financial worries, his search for food, and his ability to survive in some of the most testing conditions. And he pulls through. His determination to complete his mission runs through the whole book and his achievement is a reminder of what we can achieve if we put our minds to it. His journey reminds me how fortunate I am that I do not have to struggle each day to survive as some do, and that I have much more potential than I will probably ever know.

http://www.walkingtheamazon.com/
http://www.edstafford.org/

R is for Rewind, Restart, Renew.

R is for Rewind, Restart, Renew.

Well, I never finished the A-Z Challenge in April last year, but there is nothing to say that I can't at least try to finish it one day, right? :) I'm on 'R' right now!

The past few months have been a little bizarre. Towards the end of last year I decided that my teaching position really wasn't for me. There was many reasons for this, and even though I do love certain aspects of teaching, I wasn't happy in my role. Maybe I will find something in the future which suits me better.
So I left and did a Certified Nurse Assistant course. I thought the caring nature of the position would be suited to me, as most CNA jobs are in nursing homes or similar places. And yes, a CNA really should have this quality, as they work with the elderly, and working in this environment requires a special skill set. The position really does not pay well, the job is sometimes tiring, not glamorous in the slightest, and requires a great deal of patience. However, knowing that you are providing care and support to someone who really is dependent on others for the easiest of daily tasks can offer the wonderful humanitarian, warm-hearted feeling inside and makes your job feel worthwhile.
It is this wonderful warm-hearted feeling which attracted me to this field of work. I thought I would meet many kind natured people, humble in their hearts, caring, dedicated, and selfless. I am naive. Granted I did not visit lots of nursing homes, but those that I did visit taught me a lot. Of course, some of the employees were gems. They really were the kind of people I hoped to find. However, many really did not seem to have the attributes I feel really are necessary for this type of work. For many it was just a job. A cheque each month, benefits, and maybe a retirement plan. They failed to see the residents as real people, more as bodies. They failed to respect their dignity. For example, one CNA said "Oh, Mrs X, You should be ashamed of yourself" because she wet herself. Another CNA picked up the legs of a patient who was in a reclined chair, pulled down her pants, so another CNA can clean her, just like you would a baby. Yet this is not a baby, it is an aging lady whose body does not move like that of a baby. Respect has gone out of the window. This is just a couple of events from some of what seems to be the better places.
After my little insight into nursing homes, it really made me think about growing old, gracefully. It filled me with sadness to see swollen legs, residents on oxygen, dementia, and a whole lot more. And it pained me even more when CNA's showed little sensitivity to their situations. I wasn't sure if I was able to work with people who lacked the caring nature which really is necessary in this field.
We take our healthy mind and body for granted when we are young, and fail to think about how it may change in the future if we don't look after it now. I look at middle aged people now and wonder what their state will be in 20-30 years. I wonder who the CNA's will be that look after them, and wonder if they will receive the respect they deserve. I wonder about their health in the future.

So for me it was time to rewind and restart. I was still considering working in a nursing home or somewhere similar, but I happened to stumble upon a little opportunity in a little counseling office for the front desk position. I met with some of the staff, and they all seemed really friendly. I am happy to say that they offered me the position, and I have been there a week now, and I still have lots to learn. It may not bring in the big bucks, it's nothing special, but hopefully it will be just right for now.

As I've been looking around at different opportunities I have found many different paths that I think would interest me, most of which would require a good amount of courses and studying and experience, and so I'm really not sure on what my future moves will be right now.. I'll just have to wait and see where the winds blow me....

My Own Little Recipes

My Own Little Recipes

Sometimes I get myself into a little cooking and baking mode, and I'm feeling brave enough to take a recipe and add my own special twists to it, and see how they come out. Luckily for me I think my last few 'Stephanie inventions' worked pretty well, so I thought I would share them..


Mushroom Potato and and Garlic Soup

Ingredients:
3 Potatoes
1 Onion
About 10 mushrooms
1 Zucchini
4-5 cloves of garlic
A few sage leaves
Dried about 1/8 cup dried parsley
Vegetable broth (about 2-3 cups)
About 1 teaspoon of salt
About 1 teaspoon of pepper

Cut the potatoes, and onions into little chunks. Dice up the garlic.
Warm up some olive oil in a deep skillet, add the potatoes, onion and garlic into the skillet and heat through until just soft.
Dice up the mushrooms and zucchini, and add these and the potato mixture into a crockpot. 
Add in the broth, and the herbs, salt and pepper. 
Mix together and cook in the crockpot on high for about 4 hours, or low for about 6 hours. 
Blend with a blender, and serve hot with crusty bread. 

You can change any part of this according to your taste:) I love to experiment with different ingredients and seasonings:)
I liked the mushroom and garlic flavors mixed together, and I really think the sage went well with the other ingredients.


Vegetable Chilli

Ingredients:
About 5 potatoes
Spaghetti Squash
Half an onion
2 cloves of garlic
1 or 2 cans of mixed beans
1 big can of stewed tomatoes
2 cups of vegetable broth (add more if you think it needs it)
Crushed red pepper
Cayenne Pepper
Salt
Pepper

Peel and cut up the potatoes, the spaghetti squash, and onion into relatively small chunks.
Mix together in a crockpot.
Chop up the garlic, add to the crockpot. 
Add in the beans with their juice, and the stewed tomatoes.
Add in about 1/4 teaspoon of crushed red pepper, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper. 
Add in about 2 cups of water, or more if necessary. 
Cook on high for about 4 hours, or low for about 6 hours. 
This one is not blended, so serve hot with crusty bread.

You can adapt this to your own tastes, which is one of the great things about chilies! 
I loved the texture of the squash in this recipe, it was a little crunchy, and went well with the softer potatoes.  I preferred the stewed tomatoes, because I'm not keen on chunks of canned tomatoes, but if you prefer chunks, then add in chunky tomatoes instead of stewed.


Green Tomato Soup

We had many green tomatoes left over from the summer/autumn season, which didn't get chance to ripen, to I made them into a tangy soup! I also added lots of our poblano peppers which we also grew. 

Ingredients:
Green tomatoes (at least 6, but the more the merrier, as long as they fit in the crockpot!)
One or two red tomatoes (Although I think the recipe would be fine without them)
1/2 an onion
About 3 cups of peppers (As I said, we used poblano peppers, which are a little spicy/tangy, but not much. You could try any pepper variety, or mix up some more spicy ones with some bell peppers)
2 garlic cloves
About 2 cups of vegetable broth 
1/4 teaspooon of salt and pepper

Chop up the tomatoes, onion, peppers, into small chunks and add them into the crockpot. 
Dice up the garlic and add to the mixture. 
Add in the vegetable broth, the salt and pepper, and any other herbs and spices.
Cook in the crockpot for about 4 hours on high and 6 hours on low. 
Serve hot with bread.

Very adaptable recipe. I'm sure many other herbs and spices would go well in this too:) I really liked the tangy taste in this recipe, I wasn't expecting it:)

Quinoa with Vegetables

Ingredients:
2 cups of quinoa 
1/2 an onion
2 cloves of garlic
1 bell pepper
A few of handfuls of fresh kale
A few handfuls of fresh spinach
Soy sauce
Salt and pepper. 

Cook quinoa as packet directs, with 2 cups of water to 2 cups a quinoa. It takes about 20-25 minutes to cook. Chop up the onion and garlic, melt some butter or olive oil in a deep skillet,  and add the onion and garlic. Cook until soft. Chop up the pepper, and add to the onion mix, cooking on a medium heat until the pepper has softened. Add in the salt, pepper, and about 2 teaspoons of soy sauce, or according to taste. 
Add in the spinach and kale, and gently mix until the leaves have wilted.
Add the cooked quinoa to the vegetables, mix together, and serve warm. 

The quantities of spinach and kale can be increased easily, as the leaves will wilt down. Also, other ingredients could include blackbeans, or another type of bean, or even a handful of seeds.
 


Banana Raisin Bread
I've made a few banana breads recently, and I think this one is my favorite so far:)

Ingredients:
3 bananas, mashed
1 cup of apple sauce (with cinnamon if you have it)
About a cup of raisins
1 1/2  cups of whole grain flour
2 eggs.
1 tablespoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda 
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of cinnamon 
1 teaspoon of all spice
1/4 cup of brown sugar

Soak the raisins in a bowl of warm water, covering them.
Mix together the mashed banana and the applesauce in a large bowl.  Add in the cinnamon and all spice.
In a small bowl, beat the eggs and mix in the baking soda, baking powder, and salt. 
Add the egg mixture to the banana mixture, and mix together. 
Slowly add in the flour, mixing it together as you add more. 
Drain the raisins and dry as best you can with a paper towel.
Add the raisins to the mixture, and mix well.
Pour the mixture into an 8x4 inch baking pan greased with butter.
Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes. 

This is my favorite so far because of the juicy grapes added into the bread. It is quite healthy for a banana bread, with only a little added sugar. 


Well, there we have my selection of little recipes. Pretty simple, very adaptable, and rather yummy if I do say so myself:)

One Year Older.

One Year Older.

The end of 2012. Gone. Finished. Only memories. Like everyone else, I look back at the good, great, bad and ugly and think about how I will remember the year. I think about the major events and happenings which will symbolise this year. The good bits as well as the not so good, the bits worth cherishing, and the bits which we really don't want to think about. 
I look back and think "wow, that was this year", or "wow I forgot about that" or "oh yeah, that happened this year..". I look back and think "I wish I could change that" or "I wish I could do that again" or "I wish I had done that..". I wish... I wish... I wish... I pack all the memories and thoughts up into my 2012 memory box to be stored away next to all the other years gone by. 

This year smacked me in the face. It was a coming of age of sorts, and an unwanted one at that. It hurt a lot. I saw it coming and I knew it was going to sting. I forced me to look back, take stock, and listen to what that little something inside of me is saying. 

I tried and failed at teaching. Some love it, some hate it. I love it when it's great and hate it when it's bad. Sadly, I knew I wasn't going to last in the teaching world if I can't take the bad. For some reason, I just felt teaching just wasn't for me. So, as this year comes to an end I'm now searching for the right career path to follow in the new year. Once again, I have to listen to that little something inside of me.

At the end of my day teaching, I used to come home and ask maggie my cat if she would save the world. She never did it, obviously. And neither did I. You neither. Nobody did. We probably donated to charity, volunteered a bit, prayed a bit, and hoped a bit. And I like to think that those little bits made a difference. But the fact is, the world is still not saved, and it never will be. And it tortures me every day. My goal of 2013 is to try and work out how on earth I can make a bit more of a positive change in the world, somehow. Who knows if I will make even any difference. Who knows if what I do manage to do will satisfy me. I don't know. But maybe I will be tortured a little less. 

Next year is a blank. To be written. Next year hopefully I will see my parents, hopefully start a new career and hopefully do something worthwhile.
I'm hoping for more love, selflessness, and compassion, and less pain, suffering and greed and hatred.

I hope I hope I hope. I really do hope. 

Is it ok to start again?

Is it ok to start again?

Start again from the beginning. Can I throw my hands up in the air and say, "Ok, that's enough of that, let's start again." I really hope so.
In a perfect world, I love teaching. I love it when everything is organised, everyone is enthusiastic, I am super prepared and it all smells of roses. But yeah, that's never the case. Monday mornings come round too soon, I have scratched down something resembling a 'lesson plan', and the kiddos are already doing this, doing that, doing the other; doing all the things they shouldn't be.
I started with such enthusiasm. It was all going to be great; my classes would be amazing, full of all the current teaching methods, full of exciting activities, and full of motivated students.
Oh my it did not take long for that to get thrown out of the window. Lesson plannings became such a chore, learning about all the current crazes in teaching methods seemed like a waste of time, exciting activities took way too long to plan, and hormonal kiddos stormed in.
Of course I knew middle school would be tough. I remember it well. I gave it a shot and realised that working in that environment each day really is not me at all. It's busy, hectic, non-stop, and energetic. You have to be more than organised, and ok with discipline each day. I didn't think I would have much of a problem with it until I tried it out. But it's every day. No change. It's not in my nature to be that type of person. I can't tell them the same thing 50 times without getting bored. I can't listen to their excuses, listen to their lies, and help steer them in the right direction. Some can. They have a special skill which for the life of me I just can't find.
Middle school in America is crazy. I really don't remember my school being this mad. The kids have to carry piles of books and textbooks around each day, even though they have lockers. Then, they scurry from class to class, passing by the lockers hurrying so they are not late. All they do each day is scramble from class to class, and learn material so they can take a test, and learn material so they can take a test, and learn material.... Maybe it's just me seeing it from a different perspective from when I was that age. Maybe when I was a 'tweenager' I was ok with all this running from class to class, from test to test (actually probably not from test to test, because I don't remember having as many tests as these kiddos. Times have changed!).
Then comes all the admin and extra bits. A lot of it is necessary, some of it I think is pointless and a waste of my time, and I don't have time for any of it. I'm currently working too many hours doing things which I see as useless and coming home exhausted after battling the day. Maybe a different school will be different, maybe I should try high school, or maybe I should specialise in another area. Maybe. But the fact of the matter is that I'm not enjoying working in that role, in that environment, as that kind of person. It's just not me.
So, where do I go from here? Good question. I took the whole of last week and more to mope around thinking about what to do, what to study, where to work, what I would enjoy. I need something quick fix, which doesn't take more than a year to study for, because I'm way too impatient for that. I need a job with variety, in which I see the results from each day. I need a challenge, but still something which doesn't involve me taking my job home, and taking over my own time. Lastly, I need a helping role.
Drum roll please. I wanted to become a nurse, but the courses around here are full time and I can't work a job around that. Hmpf. So my second choice is nurse assistant, which may be a possibility. Nothing concrete set yet, but just me and my ideas. Everything crossed that something works out soon, because if not I'm going to be more deflated than ever.
It's all about trail and error. Maybe I won't like it. Who knows. Some people just knew from when they weer young what they wanted to do, what they wanted to become. I changed my mind more times than I can remember and now I'm in this muddle. I wish I could go back and just decide on one thing and stick with it. Just like so many people I know. Oh well.
So, what do you think? Is it ok to start again?

Times Just Keep Changing

Times Just Keep Changing.

The past few weeks have been pretty tense for me. At the start of the summer I was on the search for a teaching position for the upcoming academic year. As we all know, looking for a job is stressful in itself, especially in this crazy economy, and probably even more so in the teaching field where the competition is pretty fierce. It will be my first position as the actual teacher in the US, as before I was working as a teacher's aide, which although is still in the teaching field, is pretty different to taking on the role as the teacher. You want find something which suits you well, where you will be happy, and have the potential to grow. Finding the right job no easy task.
As well as this, I've been driving round and around and around trying to master the techniques behind the wheel as well as grasp the Dallas road system. A skill the average American will probably take for granted, but when driving isn't in your blood from 15, it's not the easiest task to master, especially in Dallas, where the roads never end, the cars zoom, and the traffic is jam packed. Living in the US for over a year without driving (as an adult) and most of you will probably go stir crazy when you really can't leave the house alone to go anywhere because you can't drive. Add on some time when I couldn't work due to still awaiting a work permit and we may have some people losing their minds. Maybe I did a little.
No, it doesn't end there. Throw in some teaching exams which always make me nervous and the never ending paperwork required for visa applications, work permits, and who knows what else. No doubt there are millions of people with a lot worse on their plate, and I constantly remind myself of this, but these are some of my little life's stresses, and I have to deal with them.

Well, a few weeks ago I can happily say I found a job. Since then, I've just been anticipating the start date: 6th August. So next week. I really and truly can not wait. Yes, I'm nervous, but I'm also so excited to enter this new phase of my career. What's more, yesterday I passed my driving test, after some previous flaws. We drove all the way to south Fort Worth, which is about an hour's driving away, just for a 20 minute test. Yes, I was incredibly nervous; just one mistake and I could fail. Luckily, it didn't happen, and I can now drive to Walmart alone. A pretty mundane task for most of you, but it means independence for me, even freedom. 
The exams are still ongoing, as is the paperwork, but a new phase is about to be entered in my little life: a new job to which I can get to on my own in a car. It's Tim's old car by the way, and we named her Black Beauty.
Times are always changing. New tasks come along with new challenges, and new doors open with new opportunities. We may prepare and plan for months, even years to guarantee our future, but really we never know what is going to happen; anything could, and does, happen. I could never have known I would end up in the job I am about to start, the challenges I am about to face, know in which direction my future interests will flow. I can take a guess, but I don't know. We are affected by so many little factors which steer our lives, our interests and desires, that we really don't know what's to come.
That's why the here and now is so important. We may be overloaded with paperwork today, but embrace it; tomorrow we may not have a job. Today we may have a free day, so use it wisely, we may not get another one for months. That book which really doesn't seem your cup of tea just may lead you to somewhere you have never been.
Our lives are constantly filled with challenges. We thrive off them and they make us stronger. They open doors and let out lives enter new phases. Yet they are our torture. They push us a little bit more than we think we can manage, but we can do it, if we focus. We just don't know what's waiting around the corner. After joining the gym just under a year ago I didn't know that I would benefit so much from yoga. Today I still have much to learn and much to practise, but I am focused on improving little by little. The poses Crow, Half Crow and Firefly are within my grasp and I would have never believed it. Then Tabata Training came along and I never thought my body could pound out so much energy in just half an hour. Not to mention CrossFit, which is a challenge for even the toughies. New interests and opportunities some along all the time. The same goes for my career. I still have much to learn and improve, but I see direction and possibility. However, saying all this, I really do know that it all could change in the blink of an eye, and it is so important to appreciate each moment as it comes, and be prepared to adapt to the future as it comes along.
Yes, our effort has a big impact on our future; hard work and dedication pays off. You can see it at the Olympics, but then some other star athlete could come along and steal your glory. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't try, that we shouldn't fill our lives with little challenges and goals, but we should just accept what comes and what life throws at us. Embrace even the negatives, as we learn so much from them and they can only make us stronger.